Business statistics is my biggest problem right now cause my teacher really can’t teach. He just stands their in front of the class and laughs his head off the whole day. Its the same feeling I got when I was taking up accounting a few semesters ago where the teacher really wasn’t helping and I had to learn all by myself.

Statistica actually took away all the fun feelings I had left over from the planning seminar the ACTM and Ieft me groggy the entire week.

Besides that I’ve been really pushing myself to finish my GUIDON application requirements, which I’ve been doing during histo 165 class (thank god no one really cares what notes your typing down on your computer). I really hope my application passes, here’s a look at my application requirements.

Redesign of the GUIDON online

Semestral break has been pretty boring but it has been at the very least a little productive. Let me begin by saying I PASSED ACCOUNTING! To the side you’ll see a shot of my “Individual program of study page” where you can see if you passed (P) or failed (F). We don’t know our grades yet but this has eased the tension quite a bit. I was pretty sure I was going to fail when I saw my fourth long test last Saturday and this has just taken a load off my shoulders! I might have a bonfire sometime this week and burn my Accounting book cause I have just been victorious against Venus Ibarra, the most evil department head of the Ateneo! hahahaha *shoots a frost bolt*

I’ve also started cleaning up my room. My room sort of reflects the stress level of my semester and by the looks of the aftermath, I was probably on the verge of getting an Ulcer from all the stress. I’ve had little progress though mostly picking up dirty clothes that have piled up. Now at least I have a space to practice latin ballroom when I get the urge to.

Every time I hear Keep Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis now I get the urge to move my hips in a figure-8 and dance rumba! I can’t wait till the club starts this November and this is going to be one of my new driving factors to go to school. Thanks to Osan Mendoza I now have a video of our Rumba performance last September 28! here it is I’m actually in the back row with PC here.

Free cuts we’re common when I was a freshman since I mostly had three unit core-curriculum classes (general subjects like math and english) but now that I’m a sophomore they are a lot less because I have major subjects. This is specially true for Saturdays, when I have a three hour accounting class in the morning and accounting is a really heavy subject but today by some grace of god we got a free cut in accounting…

Which means only one thing. ROCK BAND!!!

I visited the Rizal Library today to simply kill time as it was one of the best places in campus to go to sleep. I searched their database just to see if they had any books on , Apache and web development and they did!

I wasn’t just able to barrow a book on PHP but I was also get Flash, XML and Ajax scripting books as well.

I started working with PHP when I was a sophomore in high school because I needed to find a way to make updating Farplaneabyss (my old Final Fantasy media site then) easier and faster. I’ve learned a couple more tricks over the past couple of years, more than your usual dynamic and simple PHP inclusion but it was never really enough. Though I’ve been comfortable using PHP, I never really learned formally which is why I never made my own scripts.

I’m so happy now that I have these books to read! I have a lot of free time this summer even with my design job but it helps a lot with the things I have to do.

I was waitlisted myself last year but I didn’t really have a lot of trouble with getting my appeal processed since I came from the same high school as well. It was always understood by people that when you see that big “W” on your letter from the Ateneo that all you had to do was write an appeal and everything would be ok since a lot of slots usually open up after people find out that they’re accepted into UP. This isn’t the case this year because my friend told me that the Office of Admissions and Aid had apparently gone over quota with the confirmation of slots.

I don’t have any verification on this information yet but still, I understand how it feels to not have a college by the middle of March and I really feel for those kids who call the OAA on a daily basis because they know it’s their future that is at stake. What hurts even more is the feeling of rejection because you know this certain set of people don’t think you are good enough.

The whole theme of Acceptance and Rejection started to creep into my day when I came to the publication room for my re-application interview for the GUIDON.

It should be easier for someone to re-apply (renew would be a better term) for something rather than to just apply for the first time as they’ve already had experience with that organization as well as people already know what he is capable of but in my case its different. I knew things weren’t going to be easy and my thoughts we’re reinforced when the usual 15 minute application interview turned into an hour and 15 minutes. I’m not judging any of the new editorial board members but in my personal opinion, I don’t think my re-application will not be dependent on my skills as a webdesigner anymore but on how they think and feel about me (I won’t argue about the ethics of that idea anymore).

I don’t necessarily have to prove my skills anymore, they all know that I’m good at what I do but the doubt comes because of the drama that has surrounded my very existence these past months. This has sort of given some people negative preconceived notions about me and how I am. Well I can’t really do anything about what people think, it’s their brains and no matter how good I am with tarot cards I can’t directly change a persons belief, its their choice. Though it might be their thoughts I do have to say that they don’t really know who I am and therefore they can’t exactly understand who I am. I guess well for the fun side of reading this post here’s a list of random thoughts about this.

1. I am not a violent person. Seriously if you have anything you need to tell me and as long as you phrase correctly I’d respect it and I wouldn’t have anything against it.
2. It really takes a lot for me to actually say that I’m angry at a person. I always differentiate irritated, misunderstood and anger when it comes to dealing with people. I usually tolerate a lot more than most people do before I do explode and say that I’m angry at someone.
3. I have a high respect for people who are able to do number 1.
4. I have no respect for people who do the opposite of number one, cowards, those who’d rather run from their problem than face it head on and talk about their problems.
5. I’m really irritated by people who just blab on and comment on everything yet don’t know anything about what is being talked about.

I know that doesn’t help me out that much but I just feel it’s the least I could get off my chest without justifying my whole being.

I really have no idea now if I’ll be accepted back into the GUIDON. The best I can is keep a positive mindset and keep thinking that we have to put the needs of the paper over our personal issues.